“Keeping yourself up” can’t fix old

By | October 30, 2013

A quick internet search will teach you more than you want to know about the physical aspects of aging. But those aren’t the ones I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind that slap you upside the head and leave a red mark that lasts for days. As an older mom of younger kids — I had my first at 35 — I’m encountering that kind far too often. Here’s my list, in reverse order according to the amount of psychological pain each one causes:

  • You get solicitations from AARP and don’t automatically check the address to see if they were supposed to go to your neighbor.
  • You can’t stay up past your kids’ bedtime.
  • You get called “ma’am” instead of “miss.”
  • The girl at the cosmetics counter suggests products for aging skin.
  • Your doctors are all younger than you.
  • The first thing you do when you sit down to write is change the font size to 16.
  • You try to get out of a ticket by batting your eyes at the police officer….and realize that he’s young enough to be your son. (Creepy, right?)
  • The technician x-raying your son’s injured thumb doesn’t ask you if there’s any possibility you could be pregnant. (Ouch!)

I know, I know…it happens to all of us. I’m 46, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But I’ve always taken care to “keep myself up”…you know, hair done, cute clothes, and that southern girl thing of never going to the mailbox without makeup. But the things on this list prove I’m not fooling anybody, and that’s what really makes me feel old.

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